Languishing? Yeah, me too.

04.05.21 04:30 PM By Shanley

Feeling not quite right? Unmotivated? Not really sure you care? 
There's a name for that! 

"Save Me" written on a live preserver
Do you feel like you need "saving"? Maybe you're languishing, like the rest of us.

My best friend recently forwarded an email from a friend who said, "This article seemed to hit on how I have been feeling – maybe you are too?!" It was referencing an article by Adam Grant in The New York Times about "Languishing." I read the article and realized, I AM LANGUISHING.

"Languishing is the neglected middle child of mental health. It’s the void between depression and flourishing — the absence of well-being. You don’t have symptoms of mental illness, but you’re not the picture of mental health either. You’re not functioning at full capacity. Languishing dulls your motivation, disrupts your ability to focus, and triples the odds that you’ll cut back on work. It appears to be more common than major depression — and in some ways it may be a bigger risk factor for mental illness," writes Adam Grant in The New York Times

Languishing is showing up in my life by making me a hermit and unmotivated to work. Sometimes, I'll realize I haven't left the house in days. And I'm not mad about that either. Because I just don't care. I have everything I need in my home, and it's physically painful for me to go places (more on that later), so, why go?

The author suggests that getting into a state of "flow" could be a cure for this, so one of the ways I'm working toward flow is by hiring a business coach. I had to commit 15 hours a month (and a lot of money!) to work with her. This means I'll be spending at least 15 hours a month moving my professional organizing business forward (YAY, right?!?!). This means doing things like creating marketing materials, updating my webpage to include my KonMari services, creating videos for my YouTube channel, and seeking out various speaking opportunities like Clubhouse, Facebook Live, and local libraries. But not just speaking, creating and implementing a Call To Action for each of those engagements! Which I wasn't doing before (guess how that was working?). All of this is keeping my mind engaged and motivating me to change my business focus, which I HOPE will drum up more organizing business for me, WHICH IS WHAT I REALLY ENJOY = less languishing!!! 

Working with organizing clients is my life-blood. I get so much happiness, satisfaction, and positive endorphins knowing I made someone's life easier, better, and simpler at the end of our organizing sessions. Knowing I've taught them how to fish so their lives will CONTINUE to be better, long after I've gone. (Planned obsolescence is one of MY business goals.) 

My husband always says, "You sound different when you're talking to clients. You sound joyful." Not that I'm not happy otherwise, but lately I've been languishing for sure. 

Make your life Joyful!
Photo courtesy Janice at Jarring Words

I haven't been working in-person with organizing clients for almost a year for a few reasons. I moved last July to Tampa, Florida. It's supposed to be exciting to move to a new city, right? Great new start in an amazing city, near the water (wonderful coming from the desert of Tucson, Arizona)! But, that also means I don't have a customer base (yet). So, I couldn't immediately pick up where I left off in Tucson with weekly (endorphin creating) visits to client's homes. COVID (obviously) is another major reason I have not been working in-person with clients. 

But, a large reason is because I have been doing physical therapy (PT) for months now to overcome falling 6 or 7 times in the last 10 years. As a cyclist and runner, it seemed to become more common for me to limp home, or make the call, "Can you come pick me up? I fell again." 

This has caused a bunch of microtrauma build up resulting in me not being able to walk, or use my left arm in a productive way (that didn't involve lots more pain). This meant me becoming a hermit in my new home. It also meant PT and ART (Active Release Techniques), which, if you haven't had it, is incredibly painful. It removes those years of built up scar tissue to allow the muscles and nerves to move freely once again. 

I cry. It's not fun. But, the goal is to get me better so that I can work with my organizing clients, IN-PERSON, now that I'm fully vaccinated. I want to get that dopamine hit back from seeing a client's face change from frustration to wonder because: 

  • we get their garage set up so they can PARK A CAR IN IT and their STORAGE SYSTEM WORKS
  • or set up their pantry so they can FIND WHAT THEY NEED
  • or, they go into their closet and can dress quickly and efficiently, because EVERYTHING FITS AND LOOKS GREAT ON THEM.

I commented to my husband the other day that I'm waiting. "Waiting for what?" he asked. For my life to begin in Tampa. Waiting for my business to take off. Waiting to start working with clients in-person. Waiting to make friends. Waiting to start volunteering. Waiting to get to know this new city I've had to avoid for 8 months because of COVID.

He prompted me to consider a perspective change. What if instead of looking at it as waiting, I look at it as I'm taking action toward my goals? I'm not actually waiting for all those things. Because I HAVE hired a business coach to get my business going. I HAVE applied to be a speaker in multiple places. I AM doing PT to be able to get back to working with clients. I also have a list of places I want to volunteer once I'm physically able to. So, I am taking action toward moving forward, not waiting.

Getting back to working with clients and teaching them about organizing are some of the things that will move me from languishing to LOVING MY LIFE. May I suggest a perspective change for you as well? Here are a couple ways to keep your mind engaged and motivate you to change your focus: 

  • Is there a closet in complete disarray in your home? 
  • Do you hope nothing falls out of your pantry when you open the door? 
  • Have you hidden bags of random items because you "tidied up" when company showed up unexpectedly? 

Well, maybe tackling one of those things in your home can give you those endorphins you need to help you move from languishing to loving your life too. 

Give me a call or book a consultation and and we can figure out how to make that happen.

Here’s my direct scheduling link:

Until then, move forward with Peace & Grace!