McCamy describes how she makes enough money to be able to afford new things, but was raised by her parents with a Depression Era mentality. Perpetually afraid of over-spending, her parents went without food rather than spending more for food delivery when they couldn't make it to the store. Despite being able to afford the food delivery. These are the author's statements, not mine. As soon as I start work with a client, they are told, "This is a judgement-free space," while I hold my hands over my head. I also tell them I will ask questions about an item, but I'm not judging the answers, just gathering information. 

This helps me ascertain the best way to move forward with a client when they are unsure about an item. All clients have "maybe" items. Often I will even encourage a "maybe" pile because the point of going through items as a group (using the KonMari Method™) is to strengthen your "choosing muscle" to allow you to feel more at ease with letting things go. Encouraging my clients to pick a favorite item they know makes their heart sing (Sparks Joy!), I have found, is the best way to start decluttering. This helps them remember what "Sparking Joy" feels like when they encounter a "maybe" item. 

It's not my job to tell a client what to get rid of (or keep!), it's my job to help them consider WHY they are keeping an item. And because you are afraid you'll never be able to afford to buy another one (even if you haven't used it in the 23 years it's been in your home) is a perfectly valid reason to keep an item. 

That's when our conversation really starts.

But, I'll never tell you to (or make you) get rid of an item, because you may be ok with giving up the space in exchange for keeping that item. That's your choice, because it's YOUR home and your home needs to work for you, not me. This is one of the ways I've discovered I differ from other organizers. I'm not the person who lives in your home, you are, so when I leave, if you don't like the way something is set up, it's ok to change it and make it work for you!

Letting go of items also is a form of self-care that enhances your life. EVERY. SINGLE. CLIENT. has commented how much better they feel after they've decluttered and let things go. Common statements include: "I feel so much lighter," "This is life changing," and "I can't believe I waited this long to start!" This is echoed by author McCamy in her article when she says, 

"I want to view the act of giving away things that no longer work for me as a form of self-care rather than an admission of failure. The money it takes to create a harmonious living space is well-spent. After all, what is money for but to help us live happily?"

Umm, ok, but what's next?!?!?! 

Here is one way that conversation between us might go:

• When you are working, do you want to look strong, approachable, balanced, trustworthy, professional, creative?
• (Let's say you pick professional): What does "professional" mean to you?
• (You say something along the lines of, "Like I can do the job.") Ok, does that mean suits, jeans, workout gear, ball gowns, etc?

And so on and so forth, until we drill down to what "professional" means to YOU, for YOUR goal. Because if you want to look professional while teaching yoga, that's probably a different wardrobe than professional while working on Wall Street. Both are still professional, but they require different approaches to that wardrobe (and goal). But you still don't know how to proceed. And that's what Janine is talking about in the article by saying: 

Books have always played a big role in my life. I recall eagerly opening presents each Christmas, unwrapping the likes of "The Chronicles of Narnia" by C. S. Lewis and "The Secret Garden" by Frances Hodgson Burnett (which still reside on my bookshelf today). As a child who moved a lot, books were my non-judgemental friends. Worlds I could visit from any (new) home. I devoured books. Neighborhood kids would come and ask if I would play, and I would tell them, "Sorry, I'm reading" and not feel a lick of guilt. I can't even count the number of times I've stayed up reading into the wee hours of the night/morning LONG after my bedtime.

If you're anything like me, you may have a pile (or two) of unread books in your home. The Japanese refer to this stack as tsundoku, which refers to the practice of acquiring reading materials and letting them pile up in one's home without reading them. It is also used to refer to books ready for reading later when they are on a bookshelf. This Huffington Post article and this LA Times article explain more about the behavior. 

My current stack of tsundoku resides on the living room coffee table, but hasn't always lived there. Sometimes it's the side of my desk, or my nightstand. Sometimes it's even in the bathroom (shhh, don't tell!). I joined 2 book clubs this year, one for KonMari Consultants and one for Professional Organizers. I'm hoping some of the books will overlap, even though I know that's kinda cheating, lol. 

When I was 40 I went back to school to get my bachelor's degree in Retailing & Consumer Sciences (why people buy what they buy) with a minor in Fashion (because I knew I wanted to be a personal stylist). Even with reading assignments, I would be the student reading the WHOLE chapter because I was genuinely interested in learning (the difference of going to school later in life). I wanted to learn to be able to apply it to my new career AND business, which just so happens to also be what I LOVE to do.

This means I have the added benefit of most of my "fun" reading is also "research" for my job. Thus, the one "fun" book on the left stack above is "Tales from Watership Down" which was a birthday present from hubby after I finished "Watership Down," which was based on a client recommendation. The right stack is how I'm going to get to know my new home, Florida - after I'm vaccinated.

My husband and I both love to read, and we've encouraged that in my boys as well. One year we decided to use all our books to make our Christmas Tree. We gathered books from all over the house and my engineer husband quickly went to work constructing the beauty you see here. The boys and I added paperclips to all the decorations and inserted them all in between the books. This remains a favorite memory of theirs (and ours!) and one they've asked to duplicate each year. 

This memory couldn't have happened without our tsundoku, however! While going through and touching all of the books to carefully stack them, we were reminded of books we'd acquired and then left on the shelf to gather dust. This is why when using the KonMari Method™, we first pile all your books together and then tap them gently to "wake them up."  This is an important step according to Marie Kondo because, "to truly decide whether you want to keep something or to dispose of it, you must take your things out of hibernation...we can stimulate our belongings by physically moving them, exposing them to fresh air and making them 'conscious.' ... [clients] are inevitably surprised at how quickly and precisely they are able to choose after this," from "The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up."

I will confirm that we definitely got rid of some books after the Christmas tree came down in January. It also prompted us to dig into some of the books we'd forgotten about. 

This pile of books is a perfect example of tsundoku. I checked all of these styling books out of the library shortly after I graduated. They then lived, unread, on my wine cooler "desk" for the next 4 months before I paid my late fees and returned them all. Never cracked a one. The lesson there was, I didn't need any of that information to be able to move forward successfully with my business. 

If you need some help getting rid of the tsundoku, or other piles, in your life - I can help. Give me a call or book a consultation and and we can figure out how to make that happen. Virtually, of course.

Here’s my direct scheduling link: https://shanley.zohobookings.com/#/customer/shanley

Until then, move forward with Peace & Grace!

Shanley

520-940-8174

shanley@shanleyteneyck.com

Then you can look into your closet and remark, “That looks amazing!” But now turn around and look at your bed. That stuff has just been relocated and that’s what we’re going to deal with next. As you continue through this practice, in time, everything in your home will fill you with joy and (hopefully) you’ll have recovered from “Flat Surface Syndrome” as another client jokingly calls it.

My client yesterday said, “This is the first time in my life, ever, that I’ve thought about decorating my house for Me, and no one else.“ 

She’s almost done with the 4th category (Komono, which means miscellaneous in Japanese) and next will be addressing the 5th and last category, Sentimental. She’s looking forward to reframing her space, and vision, for her, and no one else. The new space will move her toward her goals as a Strong Successful, Businesswoman, rather than as the “doting mother who followed her son to college,” as she’d been envisioning herself.

Like Patchett says, “I didn’t need the glasses or the silver, those things that represented who I thought I would become but never did, and I didn’t need the dolls, which represented who I had been and no longer was.”

Know that you too, can reach this moment of peace and calm. You’ll feel the lightness and clarity that comes with knowing what is in every cupboard or drawer in your home, and how it moves you toward your goal.

If you'd like to lighten your emotional and physical load and find the truest version of you, give me a call or book a consultation and and we can figure out how to make that happen. Virtually, of course. 

Here’s my direct scheduling link: https://shanley.zohobookings.com/#/customer/shanley

Until then, move forward with Peace & Grace!

Shanley

520-940-8174

shanley@shanleyteneyck.com

I sat for awhile and meditated with my feet in the water, because I hadn't done that yet and wondered if the water was warm. It's not. But it is February in Florida, so...

Anywho, while I sat there a woman arrived and sat down nearby. She then proceeded to meditate. I thought it was a lovely scene and had wished for such a picture of me sitting there meditating. So when she stopped I said, "Excuse me, I took a picture of you meditating because I wished someone had done that for me. It's a beautiful picture, would you like me to send it to you?"

And with that, I met Natalia. 

With just that one connection I felt a little more hopeful that I would be able to make friends in Tampa. That I might find a like-minded soul. That there is still good in the world coming to me. 

We chatted very briefly about meditation and she offered to share the one she was listening to in the picture. And so I found out about Sadhguru and Isha Kriya. I'll be using the Isha Kriya as my meditation practice for the next 48 days to see where it takes me.

The video led me to another video with Sadhguru talking at a women's college and a very astute young woman asked, "How do we find the motivation to do something that we like, for the sole purpose of being happy ourselves, instead of following the society's demands to be the best at what we do?"

Wow.

Doesn't that just hit the mark? Isn't that basically what we're all trying to discover? I loved so many parts of Sadhguru's answer including, "All we want is to be better than the person sitting next to us... What we're enjoying in our lives is what she doesn't have." But as he questions: "If I come first, what about the other children?" he also posits, "this life should find full expression, whether it's better than that one or not, is not the issue... The important thing is, when you unfold all the possibilities that you hold within yourself, this is all the concern should be..." 

It's not so much that I want to compete with others, because I firmly subscribe to the abundance mentality that there is enough business for us all. But, which ME should I be? I'm starting the 5th year of my business, shouldn't I already have this figured out?!?

So on the walk home, I did what I am still lucky to be able to do, I called my mom. I summed up my emotional status and she granted me this gift of wisdom from her view from afar, "You're not actually starting your 5th year, you're just in the first 6 months of starting over in Tampa. So think about where you were when you first started, and how far along you are now compared to that." 

Light-bulb!! 

The simplicity of that alternate perspective brought tears to my eyes. I've gotten so mired down in "5 years," I didn't grant myself the Peace & Grace of seeing the big picture. I JUST started here! And if we're REALLY going to count months, I had a concussion for all of November & December, so I'm really only 4 months into my new business in Tampa. And where I am is pretty damn good! 

So, my new meditation mantra will be courtesy Sadhguru, "You don't have to be the best, you just have to be the best that YOU can be."

The light in me honors the light in you. 

Namaste 

If you'd like to lighten your emotional and physical load and find the truest version of you, give me a call or book a consultation and and we can figure out how to make that happen. Virtually, of course. 

Here’s my direct scheduling link: https://shanley.zohobookings.com/#/customer/shanley

Until then, move forward with Peace & Grace!

Shanley

520-940-8174

shanley@shanleyteneyck.com

By considering what you have on your desk and why, you will realize what you really need, and what is actually distracting you from working productively. 

I recently got rid of an ottoman that was sitting at the front of my desk. It ended up there when we moved because it was a perfectly functional piece that we'd used for years. However, in this new home it was mostly in the way. I was able to find new storage spots for the towels (with the other towels!) and the games (in the game closet!) and exercise equipment (I'll let you guess where they ended up...) and then wheeled the ottoman out of the house. I listed it on Freecycle.org and it was gone within minutes of it being posted! Win, win for everyone! Now I've opened up new space for all that good productive energy to flow into my work space! It's no surprise to me that I've now spent MORE time at my desk than I did before the ottoman was removed. 

So if you'd like to increase your productivity and stir those creative juices, give me a call or book a consultation and and we can figure out how to make that happen. Virtually, of course. 

Here’s my direct scheduling link: https://shanley.zohobookings.com/#/customer/shanley

Until then, move forward with Peace & Grace!

Shanley

520-940-8174

shanley@shanleyteneyck.com