Shanley Ten Eyck - Blog #closet

I don't know where to start!

Fri, 27 Aug 2021 16:00:26 -0600

Have a goal, but are not sure how to make it happen?

I love this recent article by Janine MacLachlan in Forbes about using decluttering as a way to accomplish your goals. This is one of the main tenets of the way I help my clients: Identify the goal, then move forward in stepwise fashion to accomplish it.

But, if you don't know where to start, even the idea of figuring out what your goal is can be daunting! Janine has some good suggestions, and it's also where I can help.

Let's say you decide your goal is to have a wardrobe that will get you a promotion. That's great! We will start there.

Umm, ok, but what's next?!?!?!

Here is one way that conversation between us might go:

When you are working, do you want to look strong, approachable, balanced, trustworthy, professional, creative?
(Let's say you pick professional): What does "professional" mean to you?
(You say something along the lines of, "Like I can do the job.") Ok, does that mean suits, jeans, workout gear, ball gowns, etc?

And so on and so forth, until we drill down to what "professional" means to YOU, for YOUR goal. Because if you want to look professional while teaching yoga, that's probably a different wardrobe than professional while working on Wall Street. Both are still professional, but they require different approaches to that wardrobe (and goal). But you still don't know how to proceed. And that's what Janine is talking about in the article by saying:

"You’re overwhelmed at the outset. Perhaps you have a lot of ideas but don’t know where to start. If we look as this as a Marie Kondo-style closet edit, you’re so overwhelmed by the piles of disorganized stuff spilling off the shelves, you don’t know where to start.

You close the closet and psych yourself up to try another time.

If you have so many ideas you can’t decide, take a Marie Kond o sweep and pick one small place to start. Start with the equivalent of your sock drawer, a smaller scale, low risk, easy success venture.

You choose the sock drawer instead the extensive collection of vinyl records because socks are low risk and not filled with emotional attachment.

As a Certified Personal Stylist, KonMari Consultant, Reiki Master, and Professional Organizer, I can help you achieve your goal of Yoga Instructor professional or Wall Street professional with your answers to a few questions. But like Janine says, you've got to commit the time to working with me, so you can accomplish that goal.

Give me a call or book a consultation and and we can figure out how to make that happen.

Here’s my direct scheduling link: https://shanley.zohobookings.com/#/customer/shanley

Until then, move forward with Peace & Grace!

Shanley

520-940-8174

shanley@shanleyteneyck.com

Get Started Now

Languishing? Yeah, me too.

Tue, 04 May 2021 10:30:39 -0600

Feeling not quite right? Unmotivated? Not really sure you care?
There's a name for that!

My best friend recently forwarded an email from a friend who said, "This article seemed to hit on how I have been feeling – maybe you are too?!" It was referencing an article by Adam Grant in The New York Times about "Languishing." I read the article and realized, I AM LANGUISHING.

"Languishing is the neglected middle child of mental health. It’s the void between depression and flourishing — the absence of well-being. You don’t have symptoms of mental illness, but you’re not the picture of mental health either. You’re not functioning at full capacity. Languishing dulls your motivation, disrupts your ability to focus, and triples the odds that you’ll cut back on work. It appears to be more common than major depression — and in some ways it may be a bigger risk factor for mental illness," writes Adam Grant in The New York Times.

Languishing is showing up in my life by making me a hermit and unmotivated to work. Sometimes, I'll realize I haven't left the house in days. And I'm not mad about that either. Because I just don't care. I have everything I need in my home, and it's physically painful for me to go places (more on that later), so, why go?

The author suggests that getting into a state of "flow" could be a cure for this, so one of the ways I'm working toward flow is by hiring a business coach. I had to commit 15 hours a month (and a lot of money!) to work with her. This means I'll be spending at least 15 hours a month moving my professional organizing business forward (YAY, right?!?!). This means doing things like creating marketing materials, updating my webpage to include my KonMari services, creating videos for my YouTube channel, and seeking out various speaking opportunities like Clubhouse, Facebook Live, and local libraries. But not just speaking, creating and implementing a Call To Action for each of those engagements! Which I wasn't doing before (guess how that was working?). All of this is keeping my mind engaged and motivating me to change my business focus, which I HOPE will drum up more organizing business for me, WHICH IS WHAT I REALLY ENJOY = less languishing!!!

Working with organizing clients is my life-blood. I get so much happiness, satisfaction, and positive endorphins knowing I made someone's life easier, better, and simpler at the end of our organizing sessions. Knowing I've taught them how to fish so their lives will CONTINUE to be better, long after I've gone. (Planned obsolescence is one of MY business goals.)

My husband always says, "You sound different when you're talking to clients. You sound joyful." Not that I'm not happy otherwise, but lately I've been languishing for sure.

I haven't been working in-person with organizing clients for almost a year for a few reasons. I moved last July to Tampa, Florida. It's supposed to be exciting to move to a new city, right? Great new start in an amazing city, near the water (wonderful coming from the desert of Tucson, Arizona)! But, that also means I don't have a customer base (yet). So, I couldn't immediately pick up where I left off in Tucson with weekly (endorphin creating) visits to client's homes. COVID (obviously) is another major reason I have not been working in-person with clients.

But, a large reason is because I have been doing physical therapy (PT) for months now to overcome falling 6 or 7 times in the last 10 years. As a cyclist and runner, it seemed to become more common for me to limp home, or make the call, "Can you come pick me up? I fell again."

This has caused a bunch of microtrauma build up resulting in me not being able to walk, or use my left arm in a productive way (that didn't involve lots more pain). This meant me becoming a hermit in my new home. It also meant PT and ART (Active Release Techniques), which, if you haven't had it, is incredibly painful. It removes those years of built up scar tissue to allow the muscles and nerves to move freely once again.

I cry. It's not fun. But, the goal is to get me better so that I can work with my organizing clients, IN-PERSON, now that I'm fully vaccinated. I want to get that dopamine hit back from seeing a client's face change from frustration to wonder because:

we get their garage set up so they can PARK A CAR IN IT and their STORAGE SYSTEM WORKS,
or set up their pantry so they can FIND WHAT THEY NEED,
or, they go into their closet and can dress quickly and efficiently, because EVERYTHING FITS AND LOOKS GREAT ON THEM.

I commented to my husband the other day that I'm waiting. "Waiting for what?" he asked. For my life to begin in Tampa. Waiting for my business to take off. Waiting to start working with clients in-person. Waiting to make friends. Waiting to start volunteering. Waiting to get to know this new city I've had to avoid for 8 months because of COVID.

He prompted me to consider a perspective change. What if instead of looking at it as waiting, I look at it as I'm taking action toward my goals? I'm not actually waiting for all those things. Because I HAVE hired a business coach to get my business going. I HAVE applied to be a speaker in multiple places. I AM doing PT to be able to get back to working with clients. I also have a list of places I want to volunteer once I'm physically able to. So, I am taking action toward moving forward, not waiting.

Getting back to working with clients and teaching them about organizing are some of the things that will move me from languishing to LOVING MY LIFE. May I suggest a perspective change for you as well? Here are a couple ways to keep your mind engaged and motivate you to change your focus:

Is there a closet in complete disarray in your home?
Do you hope nothing falls out of your pantry when you open the door?
Have you hidden bags of random items because you "tidied up" when company showed up unexpectedly?

Well, maybe tackling one of those things in your home can give you those endorphins you need to help you move from languishing to loving your life too.

Give me a call or book a consultation and and we can figure out how to make that happen.

Here’s my direct scheduling link: https://shanley.zohobookings.com/#/customer/shanley

Until then, move forward with Peace & Grace!

Shanley

520-940-8174

shanley@shanleyteneyck.com

Get Started Now

What kind of adult are you?

Thu, 04 Mar 2021 13:05:23 -0700

Decluttering now, so loved ones don't have to later

Has COVID brought out your inner Marie Kondo? Several of my clients are finding this time to be perfect to start downsizing their homes. One client continues to be VERY happy about the number of things leaving her home now, so that her son won’t have to deal with them later.

This idea of decluttering before she dies seems to be a newly popular phenomenon but has actually been around for ages.

The Swedes call it Swedish Death Cleaning and entire books have been written about it. Marie Kondo inspires it with her “Tidying Marathons” and realtors become responsible for it when homes go up for sale.

Ann Patchett recently wrote an amazing article in The New Yorker about the downsizing she went through, inspired by the death of her best friend’s beloved dad. Having to weed through his possessions inspired her to do the same in her own home of 16 years.

At one point the 56-year-old author is taking down a dozen champagne flutes from the top shelf in her kitchen (reached by getting on the top rung of a ladder) that she never used. She started acquiring the flutes very early in her life in anticipation of happily using them as an adult.

“I had miscalculated the kind of adult I would be… I had missed the mark on who I would become, but in doing so I had created a record of who I was at the time…,” Patchett says. This statement brought me to tears and made me reflect upon my own “kitchen history.”

I recall collecting in the same way when I started requesting housewares while still in high school. I knew one day I’d move out and I absolutely couldn’t do that without the Le Creuset double broiler pan my mother bought me for my 17th birthday. As high school progressed, my “adulthood” was quietly stashed away in my teenage closet. While dressing I would proudly look upon the items in anticipation of using them in my own place. (Is this very different than the champagne flutes quietly living on the top shelf of Mrs. Patchett’s cupboard? No, not really.)

So many of my clients go through this mental exercise of imaging what their adulthood will be like, and make anticipatory purchases to sustain that imagined “life.”

My husband and I LOVE to entertain and had all the accoutrements to do that. Settings for 12 including the glassware needed for a variety of drinking opportunities. (Doesn’t everyone need an aperitif before dinner?) When we moved into a big house in the foothills of Tucson, Arizona, we had an open house and invited our friends and all the new neighbors. We hosted about 100 people throughout the 4 hour party and enjoyed meeting most of our neighbors.

We had grand visions of hosting many dinner parties in the year we lived there, but alas, no one reciprocated and asked us to their home. So that dream slowly fizzled, while our brandy snifters gathered dust in the cupboard.

Then, last July we had the opportunity to move to Florida, while my boys stayed in Tucson with their dad. That dramatically reduced the amount of “things” we needed to move. So the culling process began. And COVID inspired even more culling. We knew we likely wouldn’t be entertaining at our new place in Tampa, and that helped us let go of even more items. Brandy snifters were passed along to others who WOULD use them and enjoy them.

This is how I encourage my clients to reach the point to say, “Thank you, and goodbye” to items they’re ambivalent about. It doesn’t REALLY have to do with length of time (“How long has it been since you last wore/used that?”) which is a common way to move through decluttering.

More successful is rather, to address if the item moves you toward your GOAL. What do you envision your future looking like, and does that item(s) move you toward that? Do you really need twin sheets “just in case” when you don’t even have a twin bed in the house anymore?

Still vacillating? How about, “Can you imagine someone else using that item now?” Sometimes the idea of helping others is the tipping point for my clients, to be able to let things go for good.

If you still can’t decide, dig a little deeper, and ask, “Would you want someone else to have to deal with that later?”

The most common thing my clients say after finishing a session with me is, “I feel so much lighter,” and the author echoes this sentiment as well.

“This was the practice: I was starting to get rid of my possessions, at least the useless ones, because possessions stood between me and death. They didn’t protect me from death, but they created a barrier in my understanding, like layers of bubble wrap, so that instead of thinking about what was coming and the beauty that was here now I was thinking about the piles of shiny trinkets I’d accumulated. I had begun the journey of digging out,” said Patchett.

The thing to remember about this “practice,” the tidying process, is that it’s going to get worse before it gets better. (But it WILL get better!) If you follow the 5 categories in the KonMari Method™, you’ll start by removing all your clothes from your closet and in your drawers and put them all on your bed.

Then you can look into your closet and remark, “That looks amazing!” But now turn around and look at your bed. That stuff has just been relocated and that’s what we’re going to deal with next. As you continue through this practice, in time, everything in your home will fill you with joy and (hopefully) you’ll have recovered from “Flat Surface Syndrome” as another client jokingly calls it.

My client yesterday said, “This is the first time in my life, ever, that I’ve thought about decorating my house for Me, and no one else.“

She’s almost done with the 4th category (Komono, which means miscellaneous in Japanese) and next will be addressing the 5th and last category, Sentimental. She’s looking forward to reframing her space, and vision, for her, and no one else. The new space will move her toward her goals as a Strong Successful, Businesswoman, rather than as the “doting mother who followed her son to college,” as she’d been envisioning herself.

Like Patchett says, “I didn’t need the glasses or the silver, those things that represented who I thought I would become but never did, and I didn’t need the dolls, which represented who I had been and no longer was.”

Know that you too, can reach this moment of peace and calm. You’ll feel the lightness and clarity that comes with knowing what is in every cupboard or drawer in your home, and how it moves you toward your goal.

If you'd like to lighten your emotional and physical load and find the truest version of you, give me a call or book a consultation and and we can figure out how to make that happen. Virtually, of course.

Here’s my direct scheduling link: https://shanley.zohobookings.com/#/customer/shanley

Until then, move forward with Peace & Grace!

Shanley

520-940-8174

shanley@shanleyteneyck.com

Get Started Now

Ditto | Sustainable Brand Solutions | News (hangers)

Mon, 20 Aug 2018 10:34:11 -0600

As a professional organizer and personal stylist I deal with clothes and closets. A LOT of clothes and closets. This means I'm always running into hangers. All kinds of hangers.

Velvet Hangers

My favorite hangers (for adults) are the velvet/flocked slim line hangers you can buy at Costco or Bed Bath and Beyond type stores. First of all these slim hangers come in a variety of colors. Secondly they take up less space in your closet. Furthermore they help maintain uniformity which gives an overall sense of "like-with-like," the ultimate goal for an organizer. My kids closets get plastic hangers for ease of use. Depending on the brand velvet hangers can be quite flimsy. Mine come from Costco and if I drop one the right way the metal hook part will snap right off. Yesterday we drove up to Phoenix for a conference. As a result it was easier to keep our clothes on the hangers in a garment bag than pack them. Consequently when my husband took the garment bags out of the car one of the metal hooks snapped off. This is why the big boxes are handy, you just pull another one out and throw the broken one away.

What Now?

But, what happens to it after you toss it? This Ditto article states, "An estimated 85% of hangers find their way into landfills. With 30-40 billion garments coming in already on hangers, that’s up to 30 billion plastic retail hangers being landfilled every year, enough to fill 11.5 Empire State Buildings." That number shocked me! Even more it makes me wonder how to help solve this problem as a professional in both fields. I did some research and came across some good suggestions by other NAPO (National Association of Productivity and Organizing) organizers.

Recommendations

Return metal hangers to dry cleaners
Contribute hangers to a "Dress For Success" or "My Sister's Closet" type local organization
Donate to a local shelter/transitional housing who provide clothing (call ahead and as about dropping things off, not all post their locations)
Give hangers to a local thrift store like Goodwill, Salvation Army, or Value Village that accepts plastic hangers (another organizer noted: "One Goodwill location has their own unit to melt plastics, and they would take my client's plastic hangers and melt them.")
Check with local consignment shops or alterations and tailoring establishments and see which hangers they accept (maybe you'll earn a discount too!)
Post bundles of like-with-like hangers for free on sites (Nextdoor.com, Craigslist, Buy Nothing on Facebook, etc.) to "market" them to those who need them
Check with your friends and family to see if anyone needs more hangers

Hopefully you'll find a new home for any hangers you won't be using anymore. And if you need some help clearing up some space in your closet, give me a call, I'm here to help! 520-940-8174 Shanley@ShanleyTenEyck.com

Shipping & Plastic Hangers: A Bad Combination

Source: Ditto | Sustainable Brand Solutions | News

Clutter Index Rating | HoardingUK

Wed, 08 Aug 2018 14:34:27 -0600

Concerned about being a hoarder? Here's a great resource to figure out if you are cluttered or a hoarder:

Clutter Index Rating

Need help reducing your clutter?

I have dealt with every situation from 1-9. Give me a call for a complementary consultation. We can figure out how to reduce your clutter and the negative energy associated with it. Live clutter free with renewed energy!520-940-8174 Shanley@ShanleyTenEyck.com Source: Clutter Index Rating | HoardingUK

Shanley Ten Eyck - Blog #closet

I don't know where to start!

Have a goal, but are not sure how to make it happen?

Languishing? Yeah, me too.

Feeling not quite right? Unmotivated? Not really sure you care? There's a name for that!

What kind of adult are you?

Decluttering now, so loved ones don't have to later

Ditto | Sustainable Brand Solutions | News (hangers)

Velvet Hangers

What Now?

Recommendations

Clutter Index Rating | HoardingUK

Clutter Index Rating

Need help reducing your clutter?

Feeling not quite right? Unmotivated? Not really sure you care?
There's a name for that!