"Languishing is the neglected middle child of mental health. It’s the void between depression and flourishing — the absence of well-being. You don’t have symptoms of mental illness, but you’re not the picture of mental health either. You’re not functioning at full capacity. Languishing dulls your motivation, disrupts your ability to focus, and triples the odds that you’ll cut back on work. It appears to be more common than major depression — and in some ways it may be a bigger risk factor for mental illness," writes Adam Grant in The New York Times. 

Languishing is showing up in my life by making me a hermit and unmotivated to work. Sometimes, I'll realize I haven't left the house in days. And I'm not mad about that either. Because I just don't care. I have everything I need in my home, and it's physically painful for me to go places (more on that later), so, why go?

The author suggests that getting into a state of "flow" could be a cure for this, so one of the ways I'm working toward flow is by hiring a business coach. I had to commit 15 hours a month (and a lot of money!) to work with her. This means I'll be spending at least 15 hours a month moving my professional organizing business forward (YAY, right?!?!). This means doing things like creating marketing materials, updating my webpage to include my KonMari services, creating videos for my YouTube channel, and seeking out various speaking opportunities like Clubhouse, Facebook Live, and local libraries. But not just speaking, creating and implementing a Call To Action for each of those engagements! Which I wasn't doing before (guess how that was working?). All of this is keeping my mind engaged and motivating me to change my business focus, which I HOPE will drum up more organizing business for me, WHICH IS WHAT I REALLY ENJOY = less languishing!!! 

Working with organizing clients is my life-blood. I get so much happiness, satisfaction, and positive endorphins knowing I made someone's life easier, better, and simpler at the end of our organizing sessions. Knowing I've taught them how to fish so their lives will CONTINUE to be better, long after I've gone. (Planned obsolescence is one of MY business goals.) 

My husband always says, "You sound different when you're talking to clients. You sound joyful." Not that I'm not happy otherwise, but lately I've been languishing for sure. 

I haven't been working in-person with organizing clients for almost a year for a few reasons. I moved last July to Tampa, Florida. It's supposed to be exciting to move to a new city, right? Great new start in an amazing city, near the water (wonderful coming from the desert of Tucson, Arizona)! But, that also means I don't have a customer base (yet). So, I couldn't immediately pick up where I left off in Tucson with weekly (endorphin creating) visits to client's homes. COVID (obviously) is another major reason I have not been working in-person with clients. 

But, a large reason is because I have been doing physical therapy (PT) for months now to overcome falling 6 or 7 times in the last 10 years. As a cyclist and runner, it seemed to become more common for me to limp home, or make the call, "Can you come pick me up? I fell again." 

This has caused a bunch of microtrauma build up resulting in me not being able to walk, or use my left arm in a productive way (that didn't involve lots more pain). This meant me becoming a hermit in my new home. It also meant PT and ART (Active Release Techniques), which, if you haven't had it, is incredibly painful. It removes those years of built up scar tissue to allow the muscles and nerves to move freely once again. 

I cry. It's not fun. But, the goal is to get me better so that I can work with my organizing clients, IN-PERSON, now that I'm fully vaccinated. I want to get that dopamine hit back from seeing a client's face change from frustration to wonder because: 

• we get their garage set up so they can PARK A CAR IN IT and their STORAGE SYSTEM WORKS, 
• or set up their pantry so they can FIND WHAT THEY NEED, 
• or, they go into their closet and can dress quickly and efficiently, because EVERYTHING FITS AND LOOKS GREAT ON THEM.

I commented to my husband the other day that I'm waiting. "Waiting for what?" he asked. For my life to begin in Tampa. Waiting for my business to take off. Waiting to start working with clients in-person. Waiting to make friends. Waiting to start volunteering. Waiting to get to know this new city I've had to avoid for 8 months because of COVID.

He prompted me to consider a perspective change. What if instead of looking at it as waiting, I look at it as I'm taking action toward my goals? I'm not actually waiting for all those things. Because I HAVE hired a business coach to get my business going. I HAVE applied to be a speaker in multiple places. I AM doing PT to be able to get back to working with clients. I also have a list of places I want to volunteer once I'm physically able to. So, I am taking action toward moving forward, not waiting.

Getting back to working with clients and teaching them about organizing are some of the things that will move me from languishing to LOVING MY LIFE. May I suggest a perspective change for you as well? Here are a couple ways to keep your mind engaged and motivate you to change your focus: 

• Is there a closet in complete disarray in your home? 
• Do you hope nothing falls out of your pantry when you open the door? 
• Have you hidden bags of random items because you "tidied up" when company showed up unexpectedly? 

Well, maybe tackling one of those things in your home can give you those endorphins you need to help you move from languishing to loving your life too. 

Give me a call or book a consultation and and we can figure out how to make that happen.

Here’s my direct scheduling link: https://shanley.zohobookings.com/#/customer/shanley

Until then, move forward with Peace & Grace!

Shanley

520-940-8174

shanley@shanleyteneyck.com

Books have always played a big role in my life. I recall eagerly opening presents each Christmas, unwrapping the likes of "The Chronicles of Narnia" by C. S. Lewis and "The Secret Garden" by Frances Hodgson Burnett (which still reside on my bookshelf today). As a child who moved a lot, books were my non-judgemental friends. Worlds I could visit from any (new) home. I devoured books. Neighborhood kids would come and ask if I would play, and I would tell them, "Sorry, I'm reading" and not feel a lick of guilt. I can't even count the number of times I've stayed up reading into the wee hours of the night/morning LONG after my bedtime.

If you're anything like me, you may have a pile (or two) of unread books in your home. The Japanese refer to this stack as tsundoku, which refers to the practice of acquiring reading materials and letting them pile up in one's home without reading them. It is also used to refer to books ready for reading later when they are on a bookshelf. This Huffington Post article and this LA Times article explain more about the behavior. 

My current stack of tsundoku resides on the living room coffee table, but hasn't always lived there. Sometimes it's the side of my desk, or my nightstand. Sometimes it's even in the bathroom (shhh, don't tell!). I joined 2 book clubs this year, one for KonMari Consultants and one for Professional Organizers. I'm hoping some of the books will overlap, even though I know that's kinda cheating, lol. 

When I was 40 I went back to school to get my bachelor's degree in Retailing & Consumer Sciences (why people buy what they buy) with a minor in Fashion (because I knew I wanted to be a personal stylist). Even with reading assignments, I would be the student reading the WHOLE chapter because I was genuinely interested in learning (the difference of going to school later in life). I wanted to learn to be able to apply it to my new career AND business, which just so happens to also be what I LOVE to do.

This means I have the added benefit of most of my "fun" reading is also "research" for my job. Thus, the one "fun" book on the left stack above is "Tales from Watership Down" which was a birthday present from hubby after I finished "Watership Down," which was based on a client recommendation. The right stack is how I'm going to get to know my new home, Florida - after I'm vaccinated.

My husband and I both love to read, and we've encouraged that in my boys as well. One year we decided to use all our books to make our Christmas Tree. We gathered books from all over the house and my engineer husband quickly went to work constructing the beauty you see here. The boys and I added paperclips to all the decorations and inserted them all in between the books. This remains a favorite memory of theirs (and ours!) and one they've asked to duplicate each year. 

This memory couldn't have happened without our tsundoku, however! While going through and touching all of the books to carefully stack them, we were reminded of books we'd acquired and then left on the shelf to gather dust. This is why when using the KonMari Method™, we first pile all your books together and then tap them gently to "wake them up."  This is an important step according to Marie Kondo because, "to truly decide whether you want to keep something or to dispose of it, you must take your things out of hibernation...we can stimulate our belongings by physically moving them, exposing them to fresh air and making them 'conscious.' ... [clients] are inevitably surprised at how quickly and precisely they are able to choose after this," from "The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up."

I will confirm that we definitely got rid of some books after the Christmas tree came down in January. It also prompted us to dig into some of the books we'd forgotten about. 

This pile of books is a perfect example of tsundoku. I checked all of these styling books out of the library shortly after I graduated. They then lived, unread, on my wine cooler "desk" for the next 4 months before I paid my late fees and returned them all. Never cracked a one. The lesson there was, I didn't need any of that information to be able to move forward successfully with my business. 

If you need some help getting rid of the tsundoku, or other piles, in your life - I can help. Give me a call or book a consultation and and we can figure out how to make that happen. Virtually, of course.

Here’s my direct scheduling link: https://shanley.zohobookings.com/#/customer/shanley

Until then, move forward with Peace & Grace!

Shanley

520-940-8174

shanley@shanleyteneyck.com

Then you can look into your closet and remark, “That looks amazing!” But now turn around and look at your bed. That stuff has just been relocated and that’s what we’re going to deal with next. As you continue through this practice, in time, everything in your home will fill you with joy and (hopefully) you’ll have recovered from “Flat Surface Syndrome” as another client jokingly calls it.

My client yesterday said, “This is the first time in my life, ever, that I’ve thought about decorating my house for Me, and no one else.“ 

She’s almost done with the 4th category (Komono, which means miscellaneous in Japanese) and next will be addressing the 5th and last category, Sentimental. She’s looking forward to reframing her space, and vision, for her, and no one else. The new space will move her toward her goals as a Strong Successful, Businesswoman, rather than as the “doting mother who followed her son to college,” as she’d been envisioning herself.

Like Patchett says, “I didn’t need the glasses or the silver, those things that represented who I thought I would become but never did, and I didn’t need the dolls, which represented who I had been and no longer was.”

Know that you too, can reach this moment of peace and calm. You’ll feel the lightness and clarity that comes with knowing what is in every cupboard or drawer in your home, and how it moves you toward your goal.

If you'd like to lighten your emotional and physical load and find the truest version of you, give me a call or book a consultation and and we can figure out how to make that happen. Virtually, of course. 

Here’s my direct scheduling link: https://shanley.zohobookings.com/#/customer/shanley

Until then, move forward with Peace & Grace!

Shanley

520-940-8174

shanley@shanleyteneyck.com

I sat for awhile and meditated with my feet in the water, because I hadn't done that yet and wondered if the water was warm. It's not. But it is February in Florida, so...

Anywho, while I sat there a woman arrived and sat down nearby. She then proceeded to meditate. I thought it was a lovely scene and had wished for such a picture of me sitting there meditating. So when she stopped I said, "Excuse me, I took a picture of you meditating because I wished someone had done that for me. It's a beautiful picture, would you like me to send it to you?"

And with that, I met Natalia. 

With just that one connection I felt a little more hopeful that I would be able to make friends in Tampa. That I might find a like-minded soul. That there is still good in the world coming to me. 

We chatted very briefly about meditation and she offered to share the one she was listening to in the picture. And so I found out about Sadhguru and Isha Kriya. I'll be using the Isha Kriya as my meditation practice for the next 48 days to see where it takes me.

The video led me to another video with Sadhguru talking at a women's college and a very astute young woman asked, "How do we find the motivation to do something that we like, for the sole purpose of being happy ourselves, instead of following the society's demands to be the best at what we do?"

Wow.

Doesn't that just hit the mark? Isn't that basically what we're all trying to discover? I loved so many parts of Sadhguru's answer including, "All we want is to be better than the person sitting next to us... What we're enjoying in our lives is what she doesn't have." But as he questions: "If I come first, what about the other children?" he also posits, "this life should find full expression, whether it's better than that one or not, is not the issue... The important thing is, when you unfold all the possibilities that you hold within yourself, this is all the concern should be..." 

It's not so much that I want to compete with others, because I firmly subscribe to the abundance mentality that there is enough business for us all. But, which ME should I be? I'm starting the 5th year of my business, shouldn't I already have this figured out?!?

So on the walk home, I did what I am still lucky to be able to do, I called my mom. I summed up my emotional status and she granted me this gift of wisdom from her view from afar, "You're not actually starting your 5th year, you're just in the first 6 months of starting over in Tampa. So think about where you were when you first started, and how far along you are now compared to that." 

Light-bulb!! 

The simplicity of that alternate perspective brought tears to my eyes. I've gotten so mired down in "5 years," I didn't grant myself the Peace & Grace of seeing the big picture. I JUST started here! And if we're REALLY going to count months, I had a concussion for all of November & December, so I'm really only 4 months into my new business in Tampa. And where I am is pretty damn good! 

So, my new meditation mantra will be courtesy Sadhguru, "You don't have to be the best, you just have to be the best that YOU can be."

The light in me honors the light in you. 

Namaste 

If you'd like to lighten your emotional and physical load and find the truest version of you, give me a call or book a consultation and and we can figure out how to make that happen. Virtually, of course. 

Here’s my direct scheduling link: https://shanley.zohobookings.com/#/customer/shanley

Until then, move forward with Peace & Grace!

Shanley

520-940-8174

shanley@shanleyteneyck.com